I'm going to discuss 11 rules that, if not followed, can get you into big — I mean big — trouble. These are the unspoken rules that you'll be expected to know when you get to prison.
Now, let me clarify this. I was in what's called an administrative law — an FMC, a federal medical center — one of the easiest yards you can do federal time in other than camp. I've never been to a medium, high, or a USP (a U.S. penitentiary). And even at an FMC, these rules are expected to be followed.
It's very important that you walk in knowing these rules, because although they may sound small, they can cause you a big problem if not followed and get you into a huge altercation. Because even at a low, many of the inmates have come from a higher level prison, and they're all expected to be followed.
1. Rubbernecking
Where I was, there were no doors on the cells. Most lows, administrative lows, or FMCs have no doors on the cells. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is looking into the cell when you walk by. Big no. You mind your own business, look straight ahead, and keep walking. And if your destination is a particular cell to see your homie, always knock before walking in. All cells except for what's called the bus stop are two-man cells. So out of respect for both, you knock.
2. Bathroom Etiquette
This next one's a little gross, but it needs to be said. When you're in the restroom taking a dump, the rule is drop one, flush one. You constantly flush. There has to be a flush every 10 seconds or there will be issues — someone will yell out "water." Also, make sure everyone sees you wash your hands after using the restroom. Even after taking a piss, people shake hands, and if someone thinks you didn't wash your hands, you'll get checked for that.
3. Never Ask Anyone Their Charge
Never ask anybody what's your charge. Never. If they want to tell you, they will. It's none of your business — don't ask. In fact, asking too many questions in general will cause people to avoid you and you'll stand out. Keep to yourself. You're not there to make friends.
4. Don't Get Into Debt
This could be from gambling, borrowing things, going to the store guy — whichever unit has a cell that sells commissary items and charges two for one. I've seen people get beat down badly because they can't repay. And if someone wants to give you something, politely say no thank you. Nothing is free in prison, and they'll always expect something back. If you can't afford it, do without.
5. Doing Drugs in Prison
This includes hooch, pruno, shine, and cigarettes. This includes the dudes that'll give you a cigarette, some K2, or a piece of Suboxone — or anything — for free the first time. Again, this will put you in debt because they'll always expect something in return. And getting a reputation of someone that uses in prison makes you look weak and you'll be prey.
Also, if you do smoke, know that even if you have the $5 to buy a pinner — and by the way, it's called a pinner because they're the size of a toothpick and they're nasty — enterprising bottom-of-the-barrel scavengers walk around watching where the CO spits out his chew, pick it up, dry it out, and roll bits of it in Bible paper and sell it for five bucks. Not a good way to get your smoke on, but it's clever the way they light it with a battery and two wires that creates a spark.
6. Tattoos
You'll see people that have managed to rig a tattoo gun from an old fan motor, guitar string, and ink made from shampoo and ashes, and turn their cell into a tattoo parlor. Half the guys that get prison tattoos also receive a bonus they never asked for — infections, hepatitis, staph, abscesses. Sterilizing their tools is not a priority.
7. Showering
Don't be a dirt bag. Shower every day, whether you want to or not. Everybody is watching everybody. Once you get a rep for being a dirt bag, you'll be shunned because nobody wants to mess with you. Plus, your cellie doesn't need to be smelling your foul ass. Prison is a dirty place. Keep yourself clean for health reasons and self-respect.
8. Whistling
It's a strong unwritten inmate code that you can get yelled at — or into some real trouble. In prison where you're locked up, stressed, and stripped of freedom, it's seen as tone deaf or rubbing it in everybody's face. It signals "I'm not really affected by this place," which pisses people off and is considered disrespectful to the overall misery of the environment. Similar to staring into someone else's cell, it shows you're not in step with the business. Singing is fine, but whistling specifically crosses the line. New inmates learn this the hard way with quick correction from others. It's one of those small cultural things that help keep order in a stressed-out place.
9. Racial Boundaries
If you have an issue or a beef with someone of a different race than yourself, do not confront or handle it with them directly. This can cause a race riot in any institution. You go to the rep of your own car — your own race's shot caller — and talk to them about it. The car is your race. They'll talk to the other car's shot caller and it's usually squashed. Doesn't matter how big you are or how good a homie the other guy is — you follow protocol. And by the way, bringing an issue back up after it's been declared squashed can be seen as disrespectful or starting new drama.
Another thing: when something pops off, when serious trouble kicks off, you stick with your own car, your own race — even if you're not personally racist. That's just how it is. Even if you have who you consider a friend of another race and a problem breaks out between your race and theirs, you better stick with your own race or you'll get seriously beat down by your own people.
Race in the Chow Hall
Race is important in the chow hall, too. You never sit with another race. All races have their own set of tables. Your people will let you know which ones the first day. In most higher-level prisons, you can't even share food with another race. Even phones and toilets are racially designated. Not where I was, but if you're going to a medium or a high, that's the way it'll be.
10. Don't Fraternize With the Guards
Sometimes a CO can be really cool and enjoyable to talk to. However, even if it's innocent small talk, being seen alone talking with a CO will get you into trouble. It'll be assumed that you're a snitch. And I don't even need to tell you what happens to snitches. So, unless you're speaking with your case manager or your counselor in their office, always have someone shadowing you to make sure you're not snitching on somebody. That means bring someone with you.
11. Cars
A car is your racial group. There's the white car, the black car, the Hispanic car, the Native American car called Chiefs, and others. Believe it or not, there's even an SO car — the sex offender car. Now you can join a car or roll independent. And just like anything else, there are costs and benefits of joining your car.
Benefits of Joining a Car
The first and foremost benefit is your car has your back. Nobody from another race is going to mess with you. If someone from another race has an issue with you, they have to go to their shot caller, who will address the issue with your shot caller — the guy that holds the keys to the car. Another benefit is a TV room. If you're not part of the car, you do not get a seat in the TV room. You have to watch from outside the room. Everyone brings their chair to the TV room and places it in a designated spot assigned from the rep.
If you're independent and don't have that backup, you can be a target — get ripped off, extorted, taken advantage of, and no TV.
The Downside
There's a downside to being a member of the car. If anything pops off — race against race, etc. — you're expected to fight. If you're over 55, you might get a pass, especially if you have health issues — senior benefits in prison.
Most old-timers, called OGs (for original gangster), such as my first cellie, who got 45 years for bank robbery and shot a bank teller, paralyzing her from the waist down — when I met him, he had already been down 30 years. He was independent and nobody messed with him. He earned his respect throughout the years and wasn't going to let anybody call shots for him. He called his own.
Before You Join
Before you join the car, you meet the rep, show them your paperwork, and they'll check it out through their people on the outside. And if you have certain offenses or testified against somebody on your case, then they'll find out about it. You'll get the worst beatdown you've ever had.
I hope you found this informative. My name is Brad Aragon. This is the Federal Toolbox. Please subscribe to the channel. Have a good night and thanks for watching.