I'm going to introduce you to three women. Their circumstances aren't identical.
One thing prison changed for me was how I look at labels. Once somebody becomes an inmate, it's easy to stop seeing everything else about them. I think the word homeless can do exactly the same thing. So instead of telling you what I think, listen to them.
Here's the first one.
Sean
Brad: Sean, you're homeless.
Sean: Yeah.
Brad: Tell me about it.
Sean: Well, I came here a while ago and I was working, and then I lost my job. I've been trying to get back home to Seattle for a while. So ever since I lost my job and got evicted, and then what little bit I had got stolen, now I'm out here trying to get everything back together to get back home.
Brad: You've got your cat and you're panhandling.
Sean: Yep. I brought him with me so that way I always got company.
Brad: You always got company?
Sean: Yeah.
Brad: So you told me you always stay in hotels. You pay all day to get enough money for the hotel?
Sean: Yeah. I found a place that's only $40 a night, so I've been staying there at night. They let me have him there, too.
Brad: You're so young. This must be crazy.
Sean: Yeah, it is. But as long as I got him, I'm okay.
Brad: So now, I almost didn't see you because there's all these people here walking by. Hundreds of them. Most people don't really pay that much attention. So it's like you're invisible.
Sean: Yeah.
Brad: So does that make you feel bad?
Sean: Well, if I was by myself, probably bad. But I got him. If I get real lonely, at least it's better than nothing.
Brad: If you could have any three things you want, what would they be?
Sean: Probably, one, to be able to go home. And two, to have a place to stay and a job.
Brad: Well, I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me.
Sean: Oh, thank you.
What I like about that conversation is how ordinary it feels. She's talking, she's smiling, she's got her cat, and if you passed her somewhere else, you might never notice what her living situation was. That's something I keep noticing when I do these interviews. Homelessness has a look in our heads. Real life doesn't always cooperate with that picture.
Now, I want you to meet Christie.
Christie
Brad: Christie?
Christie: Yes.
Brad: We're here in L.A., and you're homeless.
Christie: Yes, I am.
Brad: What is it like?
Christie: It sucks. It really sucks. It sucks trying to get money to survive every day. And it's hard to get GR when you don't have an ID because people around here steal everything.
Brad: You don't have an ID?
Christie: No. And I have to order my birth certificate from another state before I can even get an ID. It's very hard for me to do anything when I don't have an ID. Very hard.
Brad: Without an ID, you can't do anything.
Christie: Exactly. Yeah. I can't even get on a plane or a bus to go home. And it's hard to make even five bucks a day. Unless you dig through the trash and recycle, but I don't like to dig through the trash. If it's sitting outside or sitting on top of the dumpster, okay, but I'm not digging.
Brad: So it's rough out here. How the hell do you survive?
Christie: Day-by-day, moment-by-moment. Like, I didn't expect to be able to go through her luggage and get a dress out or whatever I wanted. I didn't expect you to come up. I live it moment by moment. Whatever happens happens. It always happens for a reason.
Brad: You mentioned all your stuff got stolen?
Christie: Yeah. I'm usually by myself, but I like to bunk with somebody that way I'm like in a tent. But I was bunking with someone, and somehow all my stuff just disappeared. But I think it disappeared underneath his tent. We constantly have to show ourselves and prove ourselves worthy of being out here, or we get kicked off the block and move down. It's kind of political, but it's not political out here. We have our own homeless laws, gang laws, law law, you know it's a lot. It's a lot to take in.
Brad: Well, I guess just like with anything, you grow accustomed to it after a while here.
Christie: Yeah. They're growing accustomed to it. I'm growing accustomed to it. I'm kind of getting still used to the idea of a cold shower. Very cold shower.
Brad: So where do you shower up?
Christie: At the restrooms. Yeah, at the restrooms.
Brad: The bird bath.
Christie: Yeah, because the marina doesn't like us using the public restroom that has a hot shower. I went there yesterday to take a shower, and they had ripped the handles off so I couldn't turn the water on. Like, I mean, I like being outside. I like the environment, you know, but I don't like the fact that it's a struggle almost every day. You know, there's some days that I just don't want to wake up because I wake up and I'm constantly reminded my kids aren't here. I'm homeless. I don't have any food. I'm hungry. It sucks. But it does have its perks because we get to see all the hot celebrities.
Brad: Wait, you can what?
Christie: See all the hot celebrities. God, those pictures don't do them any justice. And as a homeless community, we come across a lot of things. A lot of things like, "Wow, who knew this was trash at some point?" Like, that's a perfectly good dress. Why are you throwing brand-new shoes away? Well, I am a tomboy, but yes, I would love to be out of homelessness because I would love to cook a meal by myself instead of having to go fast-food way or put it in the microwave. No, I like to cook and out of the wind. Yeah, and out of the wind. Yeah, the wind. Oh my gosh, my skin is so dry and my hair is… Yeah, it sucks being in the elements, being a girl. Guys, whatever. Girls are like, "Oh my God, I got to change like 10 times a day because it's so gross." It's pretty dirty out here, but we try to keep it as clean as we can.
Brad: Are you ever feeling safe out here?
Christie: When I'm around certain people, yes. When I'm around the people that I know the best, I feel safe. I mean, I go out by myself at night and nobody messes with me.
Brad: What's the thing that you think most people out here in L.A. don't understand about homeless people?
Christie: Some of us, it's not our choice. Some of us have left our kids and our family behind for a better life for them. And it's hard.
Brad: You mentioned you went through a lot of abuse.
Christie: Yeah, I was physically and mentally abused by my husband.
Brad: Are you safe now?
Christie: I'm safe now, but he did put my kids up for adoption when I left. And that's the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with out here because I love my children.
Brad: Wow. I'm so sorry to hear that.
Christie: It's not your fault. A lot of people don't understand that. It's hard for me just by myself. Imagine what she's going through or he's going through. It could be 10 times worse than what I'm going through right now.
Brad: That's one of the biggest things people don't understand. They just see homeless and they just think lazy.
Christie: Oh, get a job, you lazy bum. It's not like that. It's not that easy. I don't have an ID. I can't get a job without an ID.
Brad: Right.
Christie: I've had places say they would help me, you know work with me. Exactly. Like, I've had plenty of places say they were going to help me and work with me on getting my ID and stuff, but here I am. And then Friday comes around and you have a plastic bag that you have to fill up with stuff that you can keep. If not, it gets thrown away, right? You're only allowed to have one bicycle, one working mode of transportation. Why can't I have a skateboard and a bicycle? Why do I have to clean up my mess and throw away stuff when I'm not bothering anybody? Do we go to your house and tell you to throw your stuff away because there's a plant that's broken or something?
Brad: So you have no income, no GR?
Christie: No. You have to be street smart to live out here. And book smart. I think it was a good thing for me because I'm finding myself more and more every day.
Brad: That's good.
Christie: I'm angry a little bit. A little bit angry. I don't mean to be. I am a nice person, but yeah, I miss my kids really bad.
Brad: If you could have any three wishes, what would they be?
Christie: I wish I would find my soulmate so we could cuddle at night and spoon and keep me warm. I wish that my children were here with me so that I could take care of them and love them and tell them how much I love them every day. And I wish I had a job and wasn't homeless.
Brad: Those are great, great wishes. It's beautiful. Well, I thank you for talking to me and I wish you the best.
When we talk about homelessness as a problem, everything gets compressed. Addiction, mental health, housing, money, bad decisions, trauma, all of it gets thrown into one bucket.
But you're not talking to a bucket. You're talking to one person at a time.
Prison taught me something very similar. Two guys can be wearing exactly the same khakis, sleeping 20 feet apart, and the roads that put them there can have almost nothing in common. Same label, completely different story.
And there's one more woman I want you to hear from. Her name is Isa.
Ila
Brad: Ila.
Ila: Yeah.
Brad: You're on the street and you're homeless.
Ila: I am.
Brad: It's cold and it's raining.
Ila: It is.
Brad: Where are you going to sleep tonight?
Ila: On the streets, unless I get a hostel for the night.
Brad: Are hostels free or do they cost?
Ila: Hostels cost.
Brad: So you just have to come up with the money?
Ila: Yeah.
Brad: And on top of all that, you're on crutches.
Ila: Yeah. I called Steps to See Me after sleeping on the streets.
Brad: Wow. And you've been homeless for how long?
Ila: Been homeless for four years.
Brad: Four years on the streets?
Ila: Yeah.
Brad: Wow. Isn't there any help available?
Ila: I've tried everything. Charities, everything. But I'm not a drug addict. I'm not an alcoholic, and I'm not pregnant. They're the three things that get help. So, not being any of them, I don't fit for a charity, right?
Brad: How are you surviving day-by-day?
Ila: Just hoping that people will help me. I don't get no benefits, nothing.
Brad: Wow. Yeah. What do you see in your future?
Ila: I want to be a writer. I want to write fiction.
Brad: Oh, yeah?
Ila: Yes. Not true life. Don't want to depress people.
Brad: You're living on the streets for four years. You have a beautiful smile.
Ila: Thank you.
Brad: And I love it that you write. It must be tough out here. How often do you do it? What do you write every day?
Ila: I write every single day.
Brad: Well, great!
Ila: Yeah. And being in hospital. I was in hospital for like three and a half weeks, so I did a lot of writing.
Brad: Wow. If you had three wishes, anything you want, what would they be?
Ila: What would they be? Right. Just to have somewhere to live. Just the tiniest little place to me would be a palace. To be able to get my leg better now so that I can get a job, and basically to be looked at like a person a lot of the time.
Brad: You're amazing. Thank you for talking to me.
Ila: Thank you.
Three women. And I don't think you can listen to all three of them and come away believing that there's one simple explanation for how somebody could end up living this way.
I'm also not saying choices don't matter. I've made enough bad ones in my own life to know they do. But a bad decision, an addiction, a criminal conviction, homelessness, whatever the label is, can become the only thing other people see.
I know what that feels like. There was a period in my life when I wasn't Brad anymore. I was an inmate number.
And one of the unexpected things prison did was make me much slower to decide that I know somebody's entire story just by looking at where they are today.
That's really why I wanted to do this again. You don't have to agree with every decision these women have made. You don't even have to understand all of them.
But at the very least, now you've met them.
I'm Brad. This is the Federal Toolbox. Thanks for listening.