What I Thought RDAP Would Be
Brad: I thought that I was getting into a program just to take one year off my sentence. Without any fluff, that's what all the inmates think at first. I expected drug treatment, but in my mind, it was just going to be a nine-month drug class with a great graduation present at the end.
Dr. Porter: So, when you actually walked through those doors, how fast did that little dream fall apart?
Brad: Very quickly. Everything was structured. Beds had to be tight, shoes had to be perfect, and you could only have one book on your desk. The little rules were just wild. At Fort Worth, we wore colored wristbands for each phase. A graduate oriented me when we first arrived and explained the cell rules, the count rules, and the requirements to address another peer's behavior instead of looking away — they called that a 'blind eye.' What surprised me was how little of the day was about substance abuse specifically. RDAP focused on routine thinking errors, criminal thinking patterns, accountability, and how you behave when nobody was giving you a speech about recovery.
A Typical Day Inside the Program
Dr. Porter: Can you walk me through what a typical day was like?
Brad: Sure. Community began at 8:00 a.m., running until noon, and then from 12:30 to 2:00, we had small groups with our Drug Treatment Specialist (DTS). I got up at 7:30. We had to make our bed so it was perfect because there were inspections every day. In the afternoon, I worked at the chapel, and then at night, in four-hour shifts, I did suicide watch. A lot of guys say it: RDAP replaced prison. It was a full-time treatment program on top of the already rigid structure of prison life.
Why the Little Rules Mattered
Dr. Porter: What was going on before group at 8:00 a.m.?
Brad: You wake up and you are already in the program. You have to stand for count, then room inspection. If a corner was untucked, you could get a 'hit' for that. If you had two books on your desk or something was hanging on the wrong side of the locker, it was a violation. Your light had to be on when you were in your cell and off when you were out. Each rule sounded petty by itself, but I came to understand that my life hadn't collapsed from one giant decision; it collapsed through the smaller exceptions I kept giving myself. RDAP was designed to interrupt that part of me that always had an explanation ready.
What Staff See When You're Not in the Room
Brad: Let me ask you this. What are the treatment specialists saying when we aren't there?
Dr. Porter: Oh, so you think we were gossiping about you? I mean, we were, but we called it 'case evaluation.' The team was reviewing your progress — your attendance, your journals, and how you interacted with others. We watched to see if you were blaming, minimizing, or getting defensive before you even heard the feedback. We were looking to see if you were putting on a good show in group but not actually changing. Being smart is a huge plus, but it also makes you a master at dodging the hard work.
Workbooks, Journals, and Small Group
Brad: Then came the workbooks and the journals. At Fort Worth, there were roughly 75 to 80 workbooks across the phases. Some felt repetitive, but that was only because I had spent decades repeating the same conduct with different explanations. When it came to journals, I want to be clear: the prison treatment journal isn't a private diary. If a DTS promised you that everything would stay confidential, they were lying. We want you to be open, but safety rules are a red line.
Dr. Porter: Small group felt different, right?
Brad: Yes. There were about 15 people in our small group, and that’s where people felt truly vulnerable. I saw men break down and cry. That’s where we talked about family, grief, shame, and addiction. I spoke about my sister, Nikki, who died from cancer during my addiction. Discussing that was very difficult, but it forced me to stop avoiding the harm I had caused.
Going Under the Clock
Brad: Let me explain the clock — the infamous clock at Fort Worth. If a peer saw you violate a rule, they could give you a 'help-up.' Staff reviewed the incident, and if they selected it, you went under the clock. You literally stood under an institutional clock with a microphone, identified who helped you up, and admitted exactly what you did. Then, you had to say, 'I’m open for feedback.' Peers took the microphone one by one. You had to listen without arguing, summarize what you heard, and state what you would do differently.
When I Fell Asleep During Count
Brad: The first time I was caught, I was sneaking hot dogs from the chow hall, and they let me slide because I was in Phase One. But later, I fell asleep on my bunk before the 5:00 count. In RDAP, your feet cannot touch the bed until 6:00. The officers caught me. The next day, I had to stand under the clock. I wanted to tell them I was just tired, but that was the escape hatch the program was looking for. Most of my life, I treated good intent as if it erased my consequences. I had to learn that sometimes a mistake is still a mistake.
The St. Patrick's Day Dilemma
Brad: My second clock experience exposed a harder problem. I made a holiday display for St. Patrick's Day that a high-ranking inmate in the unit hated. He threatened me in front of several peers. The RDAP rule was that I had to report him, which would get him expelled, or I would get a 'help-up' for turning a 'blind eye.'
Dr. Porter: That highlights a massive gap in how the program was set up. It didn't do enough to protect you. You shouldn't have had to choose between your own safety and following a rule.
Brad: I ended up calling him out, and the word hit the yard that I was a snitch. RDAP demanded honesty in a public room, and prison demanded that I handle threats without involving staff. It was a lose-lose situation.
What Actually Gets You Expelled
Dr. Porter: There are really only two ways you get kicked out: safety or giving up. If you bring in drugs, threaten someone, or get violent, you are done. If you are just slacking, you might get a warning, but if you keep blowing off the work, that will get you out.
Real Treatment or Theater?
Dr. Porter: How much is real and how much is theater? It's a mix. The truth is that good treatment calls out the theater. We see the performance, but we weigh it against the one-on-one talks to see if your behavior is actually changing.
What I Still Use Today
Brad: I use the tools daily. I look at the action before the thought of doing it and ask whether I’m explaining a decision or justifying it. I let people finish their criticism before I start preparing a defense. It didn't cure me, but it made my lies harder to believe.
Would I Do It Again?
Brad: Oh, yeah. Definitely. I wouldn't pretend every intervention was clinically brilliant, but I would do it again. The sentence reduction is the big one — a year back with your family. The tools mattered, and those were separate benefits, but both are huge. It made it harder to hide from the thinking that caused my problems.
This article is for educational purposes and is not legal advice.